31 MAY 2003 - 8.48a
apparently i am not cool enough for paul cox. while giving his blog another boring new look, he must have "accidentally" deleted the link to my blog. and to lacey's. oh, and to david's.

i have known mr. cox for a long time. YEARS. i suppose our relationship started to sour when he agreed to a christmas gift exchange last year... he happened to get my name in the exchange, and then never sent me a gift. i mean, he doesn't spend any money on music since he's so devoted to stealing it on soulseek... so i wonder what the hell is paul cox spending his money on? certainly not some cheap ass christmas gift for me. i mean, the dude could have totally sent me a mix cd or even a card and i would have been less hurt than i was when he totally just didn't send me anything at all. what's the point of joining a gift exchange if you aren't going to fill your end of the bargain?

anyhow. i've been reading the rub, as boring as it is, for as long as paul cox has been writing. and because i am a better person than he is, i am not going to take the link to his blog down. mainly because every once and a while, he actually has something interesting to say. i'm sorry i'm not some big internet hipster like you, paul... which is probably why i choose to primarily write about real life instead of categorizing my all-time favorite records or putting winamp on shuffle or providing second-hand news.

but, anyhow.

i feel kind of shitty. blah! throat hurts, etc. coughing. i had to go to tony's last night. that was weird, but it went fine. we were completely civil and he offered to "disappear" if i wanted him to. i thought that was a little out of line. i would never expect anybody to do that for me... even if i truly hated them. and i don't hate him at all.

i was supposed to go to cedar point with tony next friday, but that obviously is no longer happening. i made a big stink about getting that day off of work, so if anybody wants to go to cedar point with me, PLEASE let me know.

chrissy's graduation party tonight! woot!

30 MAY 2003 - 8.48a
i'm pretty sure the modest mouse tickets can be crossed off of my birthday list. there are still plenty of good gifts available!

29 MAY 2003 - 4.46p
i'm so excited. my mom ("crutch") and i went to look at a house yesterday. the house turned out to be a total gem... exactly what crutch wants. the realtor and i could hardly keep up with crutch as she gimped around the house as fast as she could, exclaiming "i love it!" and "it's perfect!" over and over again.

crutch made an offer on the house, and the offer was accepted this morning. the sale is pending on the mortgage and inspections, but none of those things should be a problem. another realtor took someone through the house this morning, and that person also made an offer... but crutch's was first so nyah, nyah! oh, and the house was only put on the market yesterday.

the house is absolutely beautiful. it is an older house that was totally gutted and remodeled and added on... it's better than brand new, i swear. it's perfect for my mom, exactly what she wanted.

and the best part is that there are nearly 4 acres of clear land, just waiting for my horses to occupy it. well, maybe not newt just yet, but lucy and the DONKEY! there is not an existing barn, so we'll get to build from scratch... although that might prolong the homecoming of lucy and the donkey, it will be so much fun to get EXACTLY what i want. now i just have to find a donkey...

thanks to everybody who kept fingers and other appendages crossed for us. my mom hasn't had the best of luck lately and i'm so happy she finally gets just what she wants.

28 MAY 2003 - 9.09a
i am a huge failure. mainly because i wanted to stay up until four in the morning, downloading songs on soulseek because i paid the five dollars to become a premium member and didn't have to wait in line on my downloads. i must have downloaded thirty songs in the time it took david to download four. i ended up going to bed around one... there was no way i could have made it to four.

donkey search '03 continues. the donkey lady emailed me with the name and email address of someone she knows who might have what i'm looking for. she also offered to let me borrow an older gelded jack until we found something to buy. really nice of her.

thanks everybody that expressed concerns regarding the tony situation. i really have nothing to add today. tony has read yesterday's blog entry and does not deny that every word of it is true. i just hate how someone will be "sorry" in a defensive way until the last possible second when it's apparent that their fucked up idea of an apology isn't working. when i talked to him yesterday, he mentioned having "special plans" for monday, which is why he got so pissy and whiny when i told him about taking my mom to the cemetary. i know you're all, "special plans? what the...?" becuase i was the same exact way. you see, since i was such a good girlfriend for the last month, i was going to be rewarded or surprised or something... but i had to go and ruin my reward/surprise/whatever by taking my mom to the cemetary. gosh darn it... i guess i lose.

and to those of you that expressed concern about my mom (which was, not surprisingly, more people than those who expressed concern about tony), she had one of her bunions removed almost two weeks ago. while the worst of it is over, she still hobbles along. i call her "crutch" as a nickname. she can't really drive a whole lot yet... but is starting to go out slowly. the cemetary is an hour away and there's no way she could've done that drive and then the walking to the gravesites all alone.

cheers to lacey and her new carpet that is scheduled to arrive today! wooooot wooooot!

i rode manassas yesterday and he was a peach. newt was grouchy, but i still love him. i might go visit the lucy filly today, even though it rained yesterday and my boots will likely get sucked off in the mud out there.

oh yeah, no work today. i'm super excited about that, considering i'm scheduled the next four days in a row after today. i will enjoy my day off.

27 MAY 2003 - 10.26a
thanks to tony for a bad weekend. it's great to see that people really don't change much.

the donkey search has begun!! i've been in contact with a donkey lady nearby who is trying to help me find the most suitable donkey for our needs. we're going to try to find a donkey and get lucy "home" to my uncle's by july 1. that also means that my uncle's barn needs to be cleaned out and hay, grain, and shavings (and donkey!) will need to be ordered. a lot of work, but i'm capable.

newt has been great. love him dearly. i'll be riding manassas for steph this week and next week. busy stuff, but fun. then truman comes home next week and steph goes to canada, so i'll get to play with him a bit, too. yip!

in case you're wondering about the tony thing mentioned earlier this entry, on sunday night, my mom asked me to take her to the cemetery for memorial day. my mom still isn't getting around all that well, and the cemetery is an hour away. i agreed... it's my mom, and it was super important for her to go. i mentioned this to tony as we were leaving to go out on sunday night and he flipped out on me, doing the whiny asshole routine. apparently our plans for monday were so important that it gave him the right to treat me like shit because i was going to take my crippled mom to visit her parents that both died in the last year. i'm not even sure what we had planned, aside from breakfast and tony tagging along to the barn or whatever. but whatever the plans were, they were completely ruined and i also ruined sunday night, because why should we even go out on sunday night because i ruined monday's plans? it was so much better to stay in and fight so i could get treated like an asshole for doing the right thing.

yeah, i have no idea what that was about. it's frustrating. i have to decide what to do about this... but it doesn't really stray too far from my theory that people really aren't capable of changing that much.

i hope my friends had a good time seeing the cramps last night! i know quintron/ms. pussycat opened... i have no idea if they did a puppetshow or not, but i'm sure the drum buddy was SMOKIN'.

25 MAY 2003 - 6.57p
my official birthday list:

1. the entire season of austin stories on tape.
2. battle royale.
3. minotaur merch.
4. the new radiohead cd.
5. donkey.
6. roller skates.
7. modest mouse tickets.

it has come to my attention that one or more people might have already completed some of the above list. i do not know for sure, but i highly recommend contacting tony or lacey before making a purchase for me.

and, oh yeah... my birthday is june 27.

25 MAY 2003 - 8.22a
i have to go to work this morning... and considering i work with the girl who drives me up a fucking wall, i am dreading it. we'll see what she says to me today...

friday night tony and i ventured to kent to say farewell to becky... only becky wasn't there. so we chatted it up with the rest of my pals... tony had a drink or two or more, i had nothing except a 7-up. i heard stories of a long lost cousin referred to as a blow-up doll... i did not get the burrito i wanted. it was great to see lacey and gossip with her.

yesterday tony and i woke up, had a yummy breakfast and went to drop his car off for service. we went to see lucy and i'm happy to report that yesterday's round pen experience was a hell of a lot better than the first one. i saw the cutest thing while visiting lucy... a miniature donkey! tony loved it, too... the little donkey was making his donkey noises and kicking out at the stud colt. i think i have convinced my mom that we NEED TO GET A DONKEY. that way we have something to keep lucy company when we move her... and it will be much lower maintenance than getting another horse or even a pony... and they are so CUTE.

this blog entry is taking me way too long to complete. more later, maybe.

23 MAY 2003 - 9.27a
i'd like to invite the world to check out the new look of lacey's blog!!!! it's hot, but i'll tell you what i told her the first time i saw the picture: that's a little too much boobie for my innocent eyes.

i love my new blog so much that i can't stop looking at it. i bet lacey is going through the same thing. and i bet david is having a hard time deciding which one to look at today. so much hotness!

eight months ago, i met one mr. tony meda. most of that time has been good, some of that time has been not so good... but i think we're finally on the right track... and if you don't believe me, how many people would still love you after you puked all over the inside and outside of their car?

it's also almost time for my 6 year anniversary with newt. i can't believe it's been that long.

tonight i will venture down to kent for my dear friend becky's going away festivities. i'll miss her and her dogs so much!! i've been a real poop about visiting them lately... but i find myself in columbus often for horse shows and bands and whatnot so hopefully we will be able to arrange something. much love to becky... she's the best.

22 MAY 2003 - 8.43a
same blog, better look. many thanks to my pal david for all of his help. it is much appreciated!!

clay came in second on american idol. oh well. i'll get over it someday. the best part of the show was when they were interviewing random people on the street about who they were going to vote for... and one guy was like, "clay, because he's the champion of all skinny white guys." clay rocks.

i wish i could go into more detail regarding stephen malkmus. it brings up a lot of painful memories, though. the show was great... i vaguely remember things getting crazy at the end. steve was wearing a shoe around his neck and at some point started playing the drums. we did not get to hear "jo jo's jacket"... boo! but we did get to hear a lot of other great stuff.

and, yes, the rumors are true. i puked all over tony's car. inside and out. i did my best to clean it, but apparently the smell is still lingering. all of my heartfelt apologies to tony.

more bad news... my "safe" drink of stoli and coke is no longer safe. because of this, i have decided to give up on the drink for a while... hopefully by the time my birthday rolls around, i'll be refreshed and ready to begin again. a little break will definitely not hurt.

21 MAY 2003 - 10.09a
my drinking life is ruined.

i'm sure steve malkmus was good last night. i'm sad. i was there, yes. but i might as well not have been. it all started with a sierra nevada that tasted gross.

i'm going to be sick again.

i have the best boyfriend in the whole world.

19 MAY 2003 - 9.45a
i had a great weekend. there is no other way to put it.

on friday night, tony and i went to the grog shop to see flin flon. there was hardly anybody there. i think viva caramel opened, but it's getting easier and easier to ignore them when they play, so i'm not sure. tony ran into an old friend of his... i forget her name, but she was really cool. flin flon was great. i got drunk off of like two beers, because i still have not recovered from the cat power incident. tony talked to mark ro....

UPDATE!!!! guided by voices is playing in AKRON on my birthday (JUNE 27). i expect everybody to be there. you all have no excuses... plenty of time to rearrange your schedules... and JUNE 27 (MY BIRTHDAY) is a FRIDAY. i am so excited!!!! best birthday show ever!!!!!!!! and they are playing at the lime spider of all places. be sure to buy me a present at the store next door before the show.

anyhow. tony talked to mark robinson because i was too embarrassed and drunk to do it myself. it was fun.

saturday we played with horses. lucy had a traumatic experience when we removed her from her friends for her first ever session in the round pen. here is a picture of her... she's almost totally shed her baby fur and she's starting to look more mature... compare that picture to this one and you'll totally see the difference.

i got to ride truman on saturday (my favorite horse in the world) because steph was away at a show with her other horse. then tony and i turned newtie out and grazed him a bit... then rushed back here to shower and get ready for the baseball game. first we stopped for quesadillas at our new favorite mexican place (i forget what it's called... it's on madison in lakewood, though)... then we went to the game.

the game was pretty fun... even if i missed a lot of important stuff and suffered from serious eye strain. i think my perfect vision is no more... i am going to look into visiting the eye doctor. bah. the indians won, and that was good.

i woke up on sunday morning feeling kind of shitty. i've had a sore throat off and on for the last few days... and just when i thought it was gone, it wasn't. tony made me some tea and that helped. he also forced me to take some advil because i had a headache in my eyes.

last night we went to see ash at the beachland. we were definitely some of the oldest people there... but ash was great. i loved them. the bands that opened sucked, though. total high school rock off material. i'm making this short because i have to go devote some excitement about gbv playing my birthday (we're still going to grand rapids the night before, as far as i'm concerned)... but really, ash was great.

16 MAY 2003 - 10.59a
I AM SO EXCITED. i am going to get gbv birthday shows!!!!

14 MAY 2003 - 3.59p
csu is for assholes. not necessarily the students (but in some cases, yes, the students are assholes!), but mainly the faculty dealing with my graduation application. when i got back from riding newt, there was a message from the communications department regarding my grad app. supposedly i had not taken COM 303, one of the few department requirements for communications students. they could not approve my graduation without this requirement filled. seems harmless enough...

EXCEPT i took COM 303 this past semester. i got a B+ in it. when i checked my grades earlier, it was there. SO... i called the department back regarding this message... stayed on hold for a while... she said she didn't see it on my transcripts. i said, "I TOOK IT THIS PAST SEMESTER. I AM ONLINE RIGHT NOW AND I SEE THAT I HAVE A GRADE IN COM 303. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?!?!" she said, "hold on." i held. a few minutes later, she said, "oh, when we printed out your transcripts, it stopped printing at fall 2002. that's why we didn't see it." i said, "good. is everything okay now?" she said, "well, um, we've already sent your application back to the undergrad office as DECLINED because we didn't see 303 on it." i politely asked if she was going to take care of the problem, and she assured me she would.

i am very, very nervous about this. i do not trust those people. i mean, if i can go ONLINE and see that i indeed took the class and have a grade in it, how come they can't figure out how to print my transcripts past fall of 2002 when they work in an office and more than likely have hard copies of my transcripts on hand?!?! idiots.

14 MAY 2003 - 8.30a
this morning i woke up at tony's. no big deal, i wake up there often... this morning was different, though, because upon waking up, i wanted nothing more than to listen to the strokes. i don't even like the strokes... but what made it even weirder was that tony had a dream that he was in a video with guided by voices (gbv was in a strokes video).

we watched american idol last night (just like every tuesday) and between tony and i, we voted for clay like five hundred million times. if he gets voted off, then it was no fault of ours.

big day today... i'm going to see lucy, then riding newt, then work. weeeee.

12 MAY 2003 - 11.25a
if you couldn't figure out from the longest entry ever, tony is my boyfriend. sorry men, i'm taken again.

i'd also like to add that tony held newt by himself when i gave phoebe a bath at the barn. newt ate grass and tony held the lead rope, all by himself... i was nowhere around. it was great. i was impressed.

12 MAY 2003 - 10.38a
HAPPY BELATED 31st BIRTHDAY, DAVID!!!

so... a lot has gone on! let's see... i saw my boyfriend ted leo a while back. that was like the millionth time i've seen him, and although he was good, the grog shop show in february was much better. his guitar broke near the end of his set and that really sucked.

tony took me to see pete yorn and grandaddy. upon entering the agora, we were wisked away into a fantasy land of at&t wireless. i am probably the strongest supporter of at&t wireless... i love my phone, i love my service, i love american idol. but this was almost too much. we had people begging to take our pictures with some little nokia phone... eventually we obliged and had our picture taken under a sign in the theater that said, "BEER HERE!" with an arrow pointing down.

in the "at&t wireless lounge", they had this big screen set up where text messages would magically appear if you sent them from your at&t wireless phone. as i already mentioned, i love my phone, and i love texties... so the fun began. unfortunately, someone was censoring a good deal of the messages... when the first band (some awful thing called rooney) was playing, i sent something along the lines of "this band blows. the bass player thinks he's a ramone." the at&t wireless lounge interpreted this as, "this band blows me away." um, no. so, then i sent another which was something like, "this band had to find something else to do when rick springfield took time off to have babies. tony meda is not having babies." at&t wireless lounge mistakenly thought i only said, "tony meda is not having babies." close enough, and funny to see that on a screen.

grandaddy was great. i like it when bands have films... especially when the films involve dogs. that was good stuff. during grandaddy, there were these stupid drunk kids next to us. they were completely annoying and obnoxious. i noticed that they did not have wristbands on that would designate them as over 21... a friend (who i will assume was barely 21) was running alcohol to them. fine, whatever, i was in that position myself many, many years ago and i can sympathize. the barely legal guy was obnoxious, as well, and turned to me with a fist and told me to "hit the rock" or something. i was all, "um, no." then i asked him if that was the first time he and his friends had ever been drunk. he said, "no, i always act this way when i'm drunk." and i said, "so, what? this is the second time you've been drunk?" he gave me the finger. and then he gave tony the finger.

we left during pete yorn. it was weird. tony swears he was good the last time he saw him. i'm sure he was. i trust tony's judgment.

i had finals that week. i think i did very well in all of my classes and i'm excited to see my grades. i am a huge nerd.

on friday night, tony and i met up with lacey and johnny at the beachland for the perfect guy (lacey's cousin dave) cd release party. it was a good time... i FINALLY got to see her wedding photos... they were fucking great!!! it was great to see her, too!!! we had a good time, even though we weren't there for all that long... when we left... it was POURING. tony and i ran so fast for my car... and we were completely soaked upon getting there.

we had a very scary drive home (i hope lacey made it back to kent okay) and after removing very soggy clothing, we turned on the tv to see what happened with the cwru hostage/shooting situation. when nothing was on tv, we looked it up on the computer. scary stuff. then we made spinach and artichoke dip and looked at pictures from when i was little.

we did so much on saturday... all of saturday's activities were done in honor of david's 31st birthday. we went shopping... i bought a denim skirt from the gap (on sale!) and shoes from kaufman's (also on sale!). tony shopped for a new mattress (thank god) but the saleslady was totally all about ripping him off, so we left to think about it. neither one of us really knew a whole lot about mattress shopping, so i think that we needed to be better prepared. after shopping, we went to see newt... we took phoebe. both newt and phoebe got baths... and i dyed my dog's neck red by leaving her leather collar on her while bathing her. go ahead, make a redneck joke... but she's really tired of hearing them.

we had a fabulous dinner that night at the rush inn and then we went to see a mighty wind. it was funny, but i liked the dog show movie WAY better.

sunday's activities were done in honor of mother's day... neither one of us was spending mother's day with our mom, and since tony is kind of like a mom to me (he drives me around, makes sure i eat, etc.), i spent the day with him. we did some more shopping (he bought gifts for his mom at target... really great gifts. i'm envious!), had ice cream for lunch at moo town, and went to see newt. right before leaving to see newt, i hit my head really hard on the freezer door when standing up from getting carrots out of the vegetable crisper. tony laughed because he thought i was laughing (and because the whole refrigerator was shaking... i hit it THAT hard)... and i was laughing, at the same time i was crying. it sucked. i felt really tired and out of it after that, so we didn't do much with newt. we went grocery shopping on our way home from the barn and then we watched the season finale of survivor.

it was a great weekend!!

09 MAY 2003 - 1.54p
wooooooo! done with another semester!! now my life will be so unbelievably tame compared to the last few weeks. i would like to extend thanks to everyone who put up with me. and i believe i shall be blogging regularly again now that i will actually have time for stuff like blogging.

01 MAY 2003 - 8.58a
wow! may already! david's birthday is right around the corner.

all of my stuff is done except for exams! i'm so relieved. i slept a little bit last night... and it was nice.

the place where lucy is at has separated the yearling fillies and colts... they are starting to act like fillies and colts... you know, the boys think the girls are cute, etc. well. yesterday morning, MY filly, typical of the boy-crazy o'malley girls, was found IN the boys' pasture. all of the gates were closed, there wasn't a hair out of place on her. i'm assuming she jumped into the boys' pasture... there's no way she could have gone under the fence... and i highly doubt she opened the gates and closed them after, all by herself.

i'm thinking about sending her to a convent.